My time in Seoul, Korea is now coming to a close. Eighty percent of my being is comprised of pure exuberance and the remaining twenty percent is caught amidst utter chaos and perplexity. At no other point in my life have I concluded an entire year of my life as both having taught me significant life lessons and having propelled me not a single step in terms of future aspirations.
International cultures, people and ways of living are by far things that fascinate me the most. I knew that coming to Korea would by no means provide me with experience of any academia I pursued throughout university or build on any pre-existing experience I've ever had. In my mind, Korea was a large unexplored territory to me and I wanted to tackle it. Through the utilization of my senses and without the knowledge of the Korean language (a whole other conversation, but I felt it wasn't practical enough for me to learn), I witnessed one year of life in Korea from an outsider's perspective.
At no other significant point in my life have I felt so strongly about being so, well, odd. When I refer to myself as an oddity residing in this Asian land, I do not strictly refer to appearance. Although I possess bright "orange" locks, green eyes, eyelids, white skin and specifically a "non-Asian" body type, that has not bothered me the slightest bit. My thoughts and perpetual yearning to do what I want, when I want and how I want are unheard of. For example, my Korean female counterparts and I seem to diverge profoundly in our thought processes. These girls would pay any price for the perfect face, shoes, bag and fiancé (and they do). It is not just any face, shoes, bag or fiancé, it would be the most European face including full eyes, a nose with a sizable bridge and a thinned jaw. It would be the same shoes and bag being worn or carried by the television stars and by which these young woman are defined by and subsequently judged. In terms of the fiancé, he would be the lad who landed the most promising and highest-paying job immediately after university graduation. The only reaction that I feel towards these young women is sympathy. Society instigates this mentality and as a result, these women wake up each day and must fit through a cookie cutter.
In terms of myself, I have been thankful each day to have been raised by a mother who emphasized my worth and acknowledged each person for their god-given, individual beauty. I am most content for having a nose that can smell and eyes that can see. I love shoes and bags, yet I will never claim any of my possessions and defining, or in turn, owning me. I would assume that fiancés come in all shapes, sizes, colors and salary brackets, however TBD...I'll give updates in about ten years.
Upon my return to the U.S., I anticipate seeing my friends and my family. It is those people who love me for nothing more than who I am. Coming from a society that is made up of so many people of various economic backgrounds, physical attributes, personalities and dreams has made me miss home the most. It is much more common for groups of friends in the states to consist of various types of people than in Korea, and I am so thankful for that. Much of my pride comes from my strong friendships with individuals who rank all over the board. The only relationships that I ever wish to engage in are those where I do not feel judged, envied or taken for granted.
As I am eagerly awaiting my flight to Cleveland, Ohio in the first week of September, I will be very sad to leave those behind who I have met and became so close to after this year. This crazy thing called life casually carries people into our lives and may or may not gracefully remove them from our lives as well. From each person, we learn a lesson, be it big or small. Since we each possess a perception and set of life experiences different from any other, much knowledge can be attained from anyone living in a manner that is not identical to your own.
One would think that this time away has polished my future aspirations. No way. When I was ten years-old, I wanted to be a teacher. When I was sixteen-years old, I realized I wanted to be a boss. All I can say is that this past year taught me that my ten year-old dreams were crushed, lit on fire, flushed down the toilet and now fluttering in the Pacific Ocean. It's time to step it up to my sixteen-year old dreams. Even though my family is now in the process of moving and living between two abodes, I'm going to go home and be the boss of the couch, remote and English television.
Peace and love^^
