I Will Not Spend Another Halloween with Rooney and Paul

I am writing to you all on this fine Hallow's Eve. It's been a day full of irritations and I needed to relieve part of by tension via writing and the other by spending much needed time with the girls. I do want to say that I am still going strong with dwindling funds (such a fun experiment) and I await being paid tomorrow! Today began with a fantastic workout at BR. Nothing clears my mind like a nice bout of physical activity. After that, I got home, showered, listened to my daily CNN podcast and went on my way. Being that our school hosts MWF and T/Th. classes, of course as teachers, we were to bring Halloween apparel to school to dress up on both Thursday and Friday. Now I am not sure when my enthusiasm for Halloween ceased...but it did...maybe about 10 years ago. Mer1 and I hit up some costume shops last night and I opted for the crown with hot pink gems and pink feathered scepter. For the duration of my childhood, I would accept nothing unless it was in the shades of hot pink or lavender. I momentarily regressed to my childhood and purchased these fabulous items for $6. Today, I was a princess (probably for about the 5th or 6th Halloween of my life).

Anyway, after my feelings of giddiness and nostalgia had subsided, I was kind of ticked that I had to show up in costume today, but whatever, it was all for the kids...and I was a princess! I arrived to work and had a bunch of report cards to work on and the day went rather smoothly. The final class I taught tonight is meant to facilitate a positive "learning environment" to two of the most idiotic children I have ever dealt with in my life. This class causes me to contemplate the idea of procreation and why it is done (specifically in these cases). Rooney is a festively plump young lad who comments on his love for chocolate cake and KFC, reads texts about puppies in monotone, belts out Korean pop songs and plays on his cell phone throughout class. Paul is Rooney's sidekick. Paul has a lisp and cannot say "is" for the life of him. We have practiced time and time again, but it has not registered. If either of the boys uses English terminology such as "Sex," foul word for female, foul word for crap, or a reference to male genetalia, all attention is lost to a howling laughter which continues (every Tuesday and Thursday from 6:40 to 7:20 pm) until the end of class.

After I left school, I entered the metro. It is very popular in Korea for people to begin boarding the train prior to those who need to exit are able to exit. Immediately after dealing with the spawn of Satan, Rooney and Paul, of course I was trapped on the metro by every Korean living in Seoul. Apparently the most popular theory is that the way to efficiently achieve full metro car capacity is to cram bodies into the car, rather than allowing some to exit, which of course would enable more room for travelers. I finally arrived home safe, sound and distraught to do laundry before my weekend travels. The other teachers and I plotted a reviving evening of watching Hocus Pocus with Bette Midler and Sarah Jessica Parker. Once I made it to Mer1's room with the girls, all was right with the world (and I loooove Hocus Pocus!!!).

I will briefly recap on last weekend, which entailed a trek up some mountain on Sunday that Mer1 knew about. To be honest, I have no idea as to what it's name was and I just go where I am taken.

See, it was great! It was a spectacular view and huffed and puffed my culo (behind) all the way to the top! I even occasionally rock out the Korean Victory sign (not to be confused with the hippie peace sign, although there are similarities).

There was a lot of meditating in different parts of the mountain as we were climbing up and the area is known as a place for Shamanist ceremonies. The weather was brisk that day but the layers of clothing were definitely shed and we schlepped ourselves up the mountain.

The photo on the right was taken of Mer1 during our "sit and eat cookies" break. Imee (aka Mama Hen) was thinking ahead to bring snacks for the tired little hikers.

The photo on the left is of Mer1 and Imee at the top of the mountain on this ridiculous sized and awkwardly shaped rock. Imee and I have midget legs and had to shimmy down on our buns, whereas Mer1 used her lanky legs to zip on down by foot. In addition to our hiking escapade last weekend, Mer1 and I went to a party for international people living in Seoul to drink soju and speak English with Koreans. We met some rather hilarious characters and most definitely plan to return to such gatherings. All in all, the last week as been great, but as usual, has flown by so fast! I must now get going and prepare for my trekking expedition for this weekend. Photos and details will be posted soon! I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend and I appreciate your messages and e-mails :)

Club Caliente and 'Rita Night

After a long week of teaching my precious and trying students, I have a Friday night full of finishing a book and lounging in my pajamas. I did not have a chance to write last week, but the teachers and I had a wonderful Saturday night out at a venue called Club Caliente. I was getting a bit homesick for some Latin sabor (flavor) and so las mamacitas (+Alejandro and Paul, two other teachers) ventured to the oasis. We all had a really great time and margaritas were only $5.50! The bar was predominantly comprised of U.S. military personnel due to it's proximity to the base. Mer1, Darcie and I met a Johnny from Moca, Puerto Rico and Rafael out of the Dominican Republic. They were decent guys and immediately after they told us that they lived on base, my reply was something along the lines of "Wow! I have been trying to get on base, I want to eat some Taco Bell!"

Inappropriate as usual and I'm sure you are all shocked by my behavior. Rafael then got his friend Travis on the phone who is from Ohio (like the three of us). For some bizarre reason, Rafael attempted to summon us on a trip to the DMZ with he and Travis (it was midnight, mind you) to watch the OSU and Michigan game. Thank God for Mer1 and her logic, with a smooth and flawless response of "Maybe some other time, not tonight."

After getting a peep at the Latino population of Seoul, it was time for delicious street snacks! A South East Asian vendor had the BEST chicken kabobs I have ever tasted in my life. This phenomenal snack wrap consisted of chicken seasoned to perfection, succulent lettuce, homegrown tomatoes and dressing wrapped up in warm rotis (Indian tortillas). At that moment, I felt as though I had hit the peak of my life and as the last morsel of my snack wrap was gobbled, I would face a perpetual and steady decline. (Just so you know, I have had a wonderful week and that was just the drama queen in me talking). After the kabobs, Mama Hen (fellow teacher, Imee, who always takes care of us when we lack sense) said it was time to go home. Mer1, Darcie and I hailed a cab and were hauled home, which in retrospect, was probably a better alternative to the DMZ...

Early in the week, Mer1 and I booked seats on a trip to Uljin in Gyeongsangbuk-do, (about a 4-5 hour bus ride outside of Seoul) where we will be doing some "Special Autumn Trekking." Mer1 really would like me to tap into my earthy, liberal, flowers in my hair, hippy side. Let's just say that it does not exist, but a trek through some woods with crazy foreigners sounds delightful. I will just need to bring a water bottle so my throat doesn't get parched. This endeavor will take place on Saturday, November 1st and we will return home on Sunday evening. I am excited to get out of the city and check out the surrounding greenery. This may sound incredibly odd to my parents (particularly my father...in his Keen sandals) who took us on a few daring/outdoorsy vacations and my adolescent hostilities had surfaced in [minor] fits of rage. To this day, those adventures are referred to as "Richard Simmons Vacations" in the Denbow household. I have climbed the godforsaken sand dunes of Michigan, white-water rafted the New River, seen the moose of Maine and ridden the ponies of West Virginia. Yes Mother and Father, I am sure you cackle as you read the descriptions of our experiences... and I'm going to go do all that jazz again next week!

As I may have previously relayed to you all in a discreet manner, I love Mexico, anything associated with Mexico and particularly margaritas. Thursday was margarita night at On The Border. Apparently this restaurant is a chain and in the U.S. but I have never heard of it until now. One Thursday each month, the restaurant has a special where you pay 25,000 Won ($25... well until the world markets crashed and got completely charred, so now equivalent to $18.25) for unlimited margaritas and a dinner buffet. I had to meet up with my running crew after work but just in time to order tortilla soup. Only 30 minutes were left of the buffet so Mer1 ordered 12 margaritas (it's ok, there was a precise ratio of one drink per person) to our table to achieve the "bang for our buck." It was a great night out, especially because the teacher that I had taken the place of had just rolled back into town from the U.K. He fled the land of J.K. Rowling and Hugh Grant to come back and kick it with the Samsungs.

That being said, I've had an eventful week and tonight has been perfect to lay low and unwind. A Korean teacher has rallied Mer1, two other Korean teachers and myself to attend some international club party tomorrow evening. I have 40,000 won (previously $40, now $29.21) to live on until payday so I better take it easy. Ramen doesn't taste so bad I guess.

Samsung Boys

Korean men. I have sworn to myself up and down that I will not prance home with a Korean man in tow, feel free to peruse my following explanation:

*Take note that I love my two Korean boys, Nam Wang and Kookno Lee, very deeply. None of the following text applies to my boys, for they are perfect in every sense.

**Although politically incorrect, my friends and I refer to the young Korean adult male populace as "Samsung boys." We reside in a society of vast homogeneity. We are still relatively new to the area and all places/people/text look the same. Please excuse this misstep and do keep in mind that humor is what salvages me from the occasional moments of disillusion.


I go to my neighborhood gym, BR, generally in mornings. After finishing my time on the elliptical trainer this morning, I decided to hop on the bike and peddle it out for a bit. Directly in front of the bikes are treadmills, each with personal televisions. A Samsung boy was walking on a treadmill and watching what initially appeared to be a sports broadcasting show. There was a brightly colored colored desk (like they have on Sports Center) with two announcers on the left hand side. It differed slightly from Sports Center being that on the right side, there was an avid "gamer" battling it out on a computer. Yes my friends, there is a gaming channel on the Korean cable network. In essence, you sit and watch a sleep deprived Korean with dark-framed spectacles (so popular over here) and a CamelBack filled with Mountain Dew hash it out on screen . The cameras pan from the two announcers describing his moves play-by-play to the actual game screen itself. This must be a hit among the Samsung boys...hot.

I hate the man purse. Nothing is worse than a decent looking [straight] man traipsing around with a purse. The young men of Korea aspire for nothing less than to appear as though they belong on the cover of GQ. I am certainly game for admiring a nice pair of jeans on a guy from afar, but it's another story when the shirt cuffs must match the shoes, man purse and belt. For various reasons, I have concurred that the "man's man" does not live in Korea. Men's dress suits also have a hint of metallic over here. On the first day, I wanted to know why all of the men wore damn sparkle suits. The contrast of fashion has been addressed in conversation with my American friends and one of them prefers the "slightly feminine" male fashion sense. I am not progressive enough and do not like guessing games, I want men to dress as men.

Now, although I may not be blatantly peeking at the older generation of men over here (these are not Samsung boys...we're talking 60's +....the BINGO players), I think they have lost all sense of sight. The elders love to pair striped blazers with plaid dress shirts and then maybe top it off with a pair of preppy seersucker trousers. The conflicting patterns and colors distress me on a daily basis. I can't handle it. Are they blind?!?!

Short-sleeved dress shirts and skinny ties. I have a disdain for short-sleeved dress shirts...like is it really that hot outside? Can you seriously not suck it up and roll with full sleeves? I would prefer for them even to roll up the cuffs only if absolutely necessary . Those shirts remind me of the Wonder Years and the Brady Bunch, I just hate old stuff like that. The skinny tie...hm why are some Samsung boys still wearing their "training ties" from first communions? Get rid of them.

Highlights of this post: I have a serious distaste for: men who watch video gamers for pure enjoyment, wear man purses, sparkle suits, short-sleeved dress shirts and skinny ties. I have relayed my rant and if you catch yourself breaching any of my preferences, please plan for an alteration of your lifestyle prior to August 25, 2009 (kidding....but like seriously, think about it).

The Phallic Stage

Well my friends, it has been quite a week over here in Seoul. The other teachers and I had to teach a bit extra this week because Darcie came down with bronchitis and was out of commission for about three days. Thankfully, she is coming around and will be back this week. Because she was out and one of the classes that she teaches is Huey's class, the other teachers were able to experience my favorite student. On the first day, Maria had the pleasure of teaching Huey. Now Maria has only heard my rendition of Huey up until this point and had never personally experienced his ridiculousness. Immediately after she entered the classroom and before the wonderful world of phonics commenced, Huey revealed himself. According to Sigmund Freud, the phallic stage of the Psychosexual Stages of Development occurs between the ages of 3 1/2 and 6 years. In this phase, both boys and girls, focus on the penis. It is a crying shame that societal values have Huey caged up in his jeans embroidered with dancing teddy bears. Freudian theory claims that this behavior should be wrap up in about the next year for my dear Huey. The bizarre thing is that I am the only teacher who has not witnessed Huey's phallic stage and each day I am thankful.

On the second day, Carly was granted the fine opportunity of educating Huey's Hippo class (each kindergarten class has an animal name). Although there are three additional students in this class, all attention must be focused on Huey keeping him in his chair and his teddy bear pants. Now while Carly taught Huey's class, Huey wrote the word "Prologue" on the dry erase board with a highlighter. First of all, I am sure that 7th graders would have a problem spelling this word. We have concluded that Huey is a genius. Although, he seems to have hyperactive tendencies, sings songs while I am teaching, runs around the classroom, dances and plays with Hot Wheels toy cars all around the room, he is able to spell Prologue.

Aside from Huey, the weather has gotten much cooler lately and it has been so nice to sleep with the windows open! My weekend was rather uneventful. Carly and I went to eat at a really good Indian/Nepali restaurant called Yeti near our apartment building on Friday night after work. I had to get my curry fix for the week. Carly had never smoked hookah and so we got a strawberry flavored hookah after dinner which was a nice way to end the week. When I got home, I found Sister Act on television and that concluded my Friday night. Last night Meredith T., our friend Kim and I had some cocktails on the roof and it was gorgeous! I really need to take some photos of the view we have from our roof and it is beautiful especially at night.

This morning was nice because my family and I hopped on Skype and because my sister was in on a Saturday night studying for midterms, we hit her up on the conference call as well. Of course all of Rachel's friends paraded into her dorm room so we had to greet about 20 sophomore students at Ohio University as I was still in my pajamas with wild hair. One of the friends in her hall is Korean and ventures to and from Seoul on a regular basis so I'm planning to get some hot spot tips from Ken. I had to hassle my mother this morning to begin a care package for the oldest Denbow child living overseas. Among the items requested were The Office, season 4, corn tortillas, Amish cheese and an assortment of baked goods. I eagerly await the arrival of this package and if you do happen to see Dave or Carol loitering around Wooster parts, please be so kind as to remind them of their sad, lonely offspring wandering the streets of Seoul in hopes that she will someday recieve a small parcel from her loving family in Wooster, Ohio.

Well that about sums up my week and I just got in from dinner with Meredith T. and Imee (another teacher from Chicago) at Casa Maya which was a so-so dining experience but pricey and their "queso mixto" had a poor consistency and was very stringy. After dinner we went to The Coffee Bean Co. to continue our high calorie spree weekend and discuss plans for next weekend. Our plans apparently include Club Caliente in Itaewon, and by the sound of the name, it should be a rip-roaring good time.

Anyway, I miss you all very much and enjoy the e-mails! Keep them coming because I love hearing what everyone is up to :)

Peace from the East,

Mer

A Poolside Weekend

The weekend was entirely relaxing due to the fact that Meredith T. and I basically spent it poolside at Hyatt Seoul. Rockin'. Thursday night consisted of me FINALLY getting the eye-brow wax that I have been looking high and low for and then shopping for $25 corn tortillas and cheese to FINALLY get a quesadilla in this land.

A friend of ours who used to teach a spinning class we took at our local YMCA one summer came to Seoul with her husband, brother and sister-in-law after spending a week in Vietnam. Because Meredith T. and I had Friday off from teaching, Patrice was very kind as had us to her hotel for massages in the spa. Our appointment was at 1:30 p.m. and we arrived about 15 minutes early. After signing in, we were instructed to select the music we preferred during the massage and the flavor of tea for after. We opted for the "calm" selection and Meredith T. chose Ginseng tea and I chose Chamomile. After the deliberation and execution of those decisions, into the massage room we were escorted.

The decor consisted of tan, green and cream colors and it was very relaxing. There was a full bathroom through one door where we were to change into our robes and paper underwear (yes, paper... basically imagine the paper hair caps worn by lunch room ladies and then turn that into something with two leg holes). After I excitedly hopped into my paper panties and robe, I was ready for business. We went into the massage room (there were two tables and two masseuses, we're still not sure if they thought we were a couple because we share the same first name...?) and were told to ditch the robes. Although this was not public nakedness per se, Korea seems to run rampant with public shower/changing/bathing facilities. Now it was one thing to scamper around a hospital in a cotton candy pink robe and it's another to be hustling around in paper skivvies and not knowing half of the people in the room. Meredith T. says that I will get used to this lifestyle... I think not.

Patrice registered us to have a full body scrub and full body massage and it was delightful! The ladies were very strong and I think I walked out with a bruise or two. After the two hour treatment, in came our tea and a homemade fruit and granola snack, it was really delicious! After the massages, we changed and headed out to sit by the pool. A sudden thirst came over us and we had to order some champagne to wet the old whistles. After some time, Patrice came back to the hotel from her outing with their friends and we met by the pool. It was wonderful to see her and catch up! Then we went into the hotel to have some pre-dinner cocktails and met with Jill, Patrice's sister-in-law and Young, Patrice's friend who lives in Seoul. After drinks, we dined in the hotel restaurant which was upscale Korean cuisine. Our dinner included tofu, green peppers, beef sirloin, chicken, scallops, asparagus and mushrooms. It was all very good and I'm sure that my bran flakes and yogurt will just not taste as delicious anymore.

After dinner, Meredith T. and I headed back to our apartment building and called it a night. We're getting old! What early-twenty year old girls head in for the night on a Friday at ten or eleven!?! We had to do so because Patrice invited us to use the gym and pool at the Hyatt on Saturday while they were out seeing more of the city. We got an early start and had to stop by 7-11 to load up on pool necessities (see photo: bottles of water, etc.). Saturday was a full day of fun in the sun and European men thinking they were still 21 and prancing around in speedos and gold necklaces with their white chest hair fluttering freely in the Seoul sun.

After a beautiful and relaxing weekend, it's back to a five day work week (ahhh!) and of course with my favorite student, Huey. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend! I will post soon, promise :)